Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Outta State...Outta mind...

Be spontaneous. Like you use to be, I told him. Hoping it might spark that sense of adventure I know he still harbors deep down. The kind of adventure that creates the memories we cherish most. It was already 11am when I decided I wanted to go somewhere. Somewhere far, somewhere we could go that would keep us out all day and away from any and all we know. This is a hard time of year for me and as the date approaches I feel myself holding onto each hour as if it again were her last. I found I was torturing myself with the "this was happening right now a year ago" and experiencing her death all over again. Time is passing but my undying wish to still have her here is not. Time. The one thing I long for the most...more time...with her... I find myself running in any direction...and today was one of those days. I wanted to go. Far. Anywhere. Well anywhere that I could shoot some photos. My new hobby has lead me to so many beautiful places.

The drive was stomach turning as I felt we were going to go over a cliff at any second. Something about a 7,000 ft. elevation...kinda got me thinking. But the conversations my husband and I had were nice. We talked about our favorite things about California and what makes it unique. I talked about what I have to do to get better at photography. We listened to music and took time to enjoy the ride quietly. I didn't realize how nice that part of our trip would be. There wasn't much for us in Reno. I have to admit I am not sure why they call it the "biggest little city in the world." Unless you like the smell of cigarette smoke and cackling old ladies or drunk, obnoxious 21 year olds...not our scene...especially with 2 kids. We knew this before we went. But-now we have been out of state together and I was able to be outta state...outta mind...I needed that. It was refreshing.

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