Seeing Stars...

I have been so busy the last few days. I had the most amazing time at the PPSV meeting. Unfortunately Mariea was sick so I was headed into the great unknown all alone! But little did I now it would turn out so well. I met two wonderful women, Deandra and Wendy. We even decided to get together for coffee and a little photog session sometime soon. (www.printcessphotography.com and wendehithephoto.com) I am super excited.

So, I decided to dress up. I wasn't sure if it was a jeans and t-shirt type deal. But, I figured it would be better to be over dressed (to impress!) rather than under dressed. I hate making a bad first impression! Jasmine had so many helpful things to talk about.I could go on and on about how much of an impact what she had to say had on me. I felt like I could do anything after I left that room. She is inspiring and it is nice to know of someone else who shares the same immense passion for photography AND people. She mostly spoke on marketing and branding yourself. She is a truly unique women with a wonderful heart. She was so kind and funny. She kept us all laughing. She was so well spoken. Not one word was fumbled or stumbled upon. She talked about the most interesting things, I wish the night had lasted several more hours...I would have loved to hear what else she had to say.

The next day I tried to log unto my computer and my modem was out! So for over 1 whole week I have been without the web! Wow! You never realize how much time you spend on the computer, or how much you can depend on it until it is gone! Thankfully I am back online again. After the rush of Thanksgiving (I am cooking my very 1st turkey at home!) I will be blogging on a regular basis again. I am just so busy I can't see straight! Meeting someone who I respect so much as a professional was surreal. It still is. I can't believe that is me in that picture next to J*. When times get rough during this adventure of starting my business I will remember meeting her. All it took was me putting myself out there. No one is going to come and get me I gotta do it myself it I want to be successful!

I think it is appropriate this week being thanksgiving and all to say this year I am thankful for passion. Not just behind the camera but for the passion of living the life I feel is met for me. For which without I wouldn't have a reason to be behind that lens in the 1st place. I am also thankful for those that understand where I am coming from and share my same thoughts. Moral support in this is huge and meeting J* well lets just say I was...SEEING STARS...

destiny and success!

Natural ability without education has more often raised a man to glory and virtue than education without natural ability.

Marcus T. Cicero
c. 106-43 BC, Great Roman Orator, Politician

I was destined to to this. I will succeed.

This is a random picture I took of a wall in Reno.

Like I say in a lot of my posts: I can't wait to get my new camera! Once I have professional equipment I will be able to "rock it out." in the words of Jasmine Star...FYI:can't wait to see her speak at the ppsv meeting at the Dante Club in Sac on Wednesday night!

Ready, Set, GO!

Alright! I am smiles from ear to ear. What a great day. I have a sense of hope. My goal doesn't feel so out of reach! After finding out that Jasmine Star (www.Jasminestarblog.com) was going to be at the PPSV meeting (professional photographers of Sacramento Valley) I didn't think much of it. I didn't even consider it. Well I did for about 2 seconds, and quickly diminished the thought not realizing that THIS is how is all begins.

Then my wedding photog, Mariea (www.mariearummel.com)posted something about it via facebook. Excited that we both knew of J* I commented that I hope she had a great time! Never did I expect the motivation of the next 5 words. I signed back on later that day and she had written me back. "Jenna, you should totally go." I stared at my screen. Me? I wasn't anywhere near a "pro" and she was nice enough to put that out there. That's all it took. My motivation kicked in high gear.

I logged onto the ppsv website. After some confusion (I thought I had to be a member by the time the meeting was in order and its next week. I didn't think time was on my side. So I panicked. I found every possible email I to the ppsv that I thought might be beneficial in getting me into the meeting. After writing to a few random people I got a response back. I was told to just show up and that was it! I was in! No trouble at all! Wow! Was I really doing this? I will have nothing to talk about. Sometimes its okay. I am going to be the sponge in the room...soaking in all the knowledge of my fellow photogs...can I call them that YET? :) My desire to do this makes me feel like one of them. They might have the know how to talk all day but if its passion they want to know of for this art I could write them a book...

I feel like I am where I want to be going! To be in the same room with J* and Mariea...wow...its gonna be surreal! Two photogs whose work intrigues me. The icing on the cake? Mariea told me to get there early to sit with her. For once in my life I want something bad enough to go out and get it on my own. My hard work and ENDLESS hours of research are paying off. It feels liberating! Here goes nothing! ready Set GO

This is a picture of my son. I love the inspiration I get from my children; there isn't anything like it.

In my soul, though my veins and in my heart...this will work!

I want to be successful. Not just as a mother and a wife but in my career as well. School, as many of my family members will contest to is a major part of my life. But, unfortunately the only MAJOR in school I worked on the hardest was just that...school. Straight out of high school I wanted to do something fun, fresh and exciting! I had taken 3 years of culinary training in high school and really enjoyed it. I decided that was where I wanted to be. So, without any advisers or help I went and signed myself up for the hospitality management course at Mission College. I was thinking BIG. Like running a 5***** restaurant on a Cruise ship- how fun would traveling be. Boy was I wrong. The classes were very intimidating and had nothing to do with the exciting aspects but rather the financial and managerial sense (go figure hospitality MANAGEMENT!) I hated it. It was not for me!

So I was onto my next adventure. I like to do my hair and make up so I signed up for cosmetology school. The school was unprofessional in the most ridiculous ways possible. I was given the most disgusting set of toenails to paint my 1st day on the job. Lets just say she didn't need her toenails painted because they were already GREEN with FUNGUS!!! ehhh!!! I couldn't do it...I decided very quickly that the glitz and glamour I had seen in the movies was far from where I was at. So...then what was I to do? I took some Greek mythology classes for fun and finished up my math courses at Mission.

I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. Then my husbands' sister was going on leave at her job as a preschool teachers' assistant. I took over her position and feel in love with the job. I really enjoyed the rewards of teaching a child something. I started taking online courses through Vanguard University. I was never planning to go too far with that. I need 12 units to have a class of my own. That was my goal. Then, the school I worked at transitioned owners. The atmosphere changed because no one was happy. Other teachers left. New staff came in. It was no longer somewhere I looked forward to going but rather a delimma each day as to whether I continue or stand up for how I felt. It was no longer about the kids to the new owners but about the "business" of it all and I didn't believe in that. So I quit.

Where to go from here? I needed to do SOMETHING. I wanted to make a life change. I made a decision. We moved to Rocklin. My grandmother talked up Heald like it was the next best thing to Harvard! I went in and was signed up for Accounting within 2 months of living out here. I enjoyed dressing professional and I was good at what I was learning. Then I found out I was pregnant. My thought on life changed. I was not longer planning for me but for a family. Was being a CPA what I really wanted? I did not know. That is my problem. I have never been given the time to decide without someone else's opinion fogging my decision. When I did have the option to decide I was impulsive about it and went with what sounded good at the time. I made it 3/4 the way though my courses at Heald before deciding it wasn't the route I wanted to take in life.

After Ty was born I sat down and re-evaluated where I wanted to be. I had been told the medical field was a perfect field for me. So- I looked into nursing. I went to Western and they have a program that takes you all the way through an RN! Sounded great. So I signed up for the 1st step in the process-medical assisting. I was doing great! Ty was in daycare and I even managed to have perfect attendance. Unfortunately I miscarried around this time and I was put on a L.O.A. and not given permission to return to school for 1 week. There went my perfect attendance, grades, and my baby...I was devastated. I didn't want to go back. Especially since I started to break down my last day there and had to be taken to the ER. But I went back. I wanted to finish SOMETHING. I found out I was pregnant with my daughter in January 2008. I was almost done with school. My externship was scheduled for March. It was February and I was sick. Very sick. The pregnancy was making me unable to eat. After days of no food I went to the ER and was admitted to the hospital with severe dehydration and Hyperemesis Gravidarum (fancy wording for severe morning sickness). So once again I was put on a LOA. It wasn't until August that I was able to complete my externship. But I still walked with my class in June. I did it. I finished something! I didn't receive my certificate until July 2009 because there were money issues (that school is SOMETHING else!)but at least I am done with that part of it.

But, being a medical assistant at $8-10 isn't where I planned to stop when I started all of this. I would never have even bothered. I find that line of work unrewarding. Having 2 children to put in daycare while I attend school is very expensive. School is a full time job in itself. So I have found myself at a stand still, as a stay at home mom. I love my kids; but my prime working years of gaining experience and connections and success are dwindling away. I don't want to start my career when I am 35. I want to be successful by then. I am done doing what everyone thinks is the right road for "me". And that is how it happened...that is how I got to where I am today...letting everyone else live their dreams through me!!!

I am ready to take a leap of faith. I am ready to do what I love. The right way. Not the half way, to get it done way. I want to learn this craft inside and out and be outstanding at what I love. I want to captivate and move people. I want the passion I feel towards it to be visable through my work. This is the 1st thing I have wanted to do as a slow process so I can be sure not to fail. Slowly learning on my own and taking workshops. Networking and taking that risk. I feel it. Photography is in my heart and soul. It is in everything I do. Everywhere I go. Everything I see. I see it though the lenses of my camera. Which, at this point is no more professional than the one sitting on your own desk. But that too, will take time. I am no where near where I hope to be in 5 years. I know I need time. I need faith. I need encouragement. I need clients! I need equipment! I need more confidence! I need to not let the negativity of the opinions of others on my many career choices influence me! I can do this. I will do this. I am slowly learning about lightning and shadows. I am learning about the best times of day to take a picture-and from what angel. I am learning about lightroom and elements (photoshop cs4 still just a dream at this point). Layering, masking, burning, lasso-ing, RGB... I am learning about starting a website and getting my own domain name and server space. I started my blog :) (THANKS FOR VISITING!)and I am going to be signing up for workshops in San Francisco. I am going to attend my 1st photography conference. The passion I feel isn't dwindling but getting that much more intense. I find myself driving down the freeway looking at objects figuring out the best way to have photographed the situation. Or when we plan our day I enjoy planning it around somewhere I can photograph. I am like a little girl on her birthday eagerly awaiting the second I return home so I can upload the photos on my computer and manipulate this and that until the photo is even more MINE. I am trying to figure it all out. I am contemplating contacting other photographers. I want to hear their stories and be told where to go. I want to know of their experiences as they started out, as an inspiration to where I am going. But, I don't want them to feel as if I am asking for that magic key to success.I have already found it...a will to succeed. I don't see failure in this and that is how I know it is right!

This picture I am posting with this entry was a picture I asked my husband to take. I wanted a picture of myself for my blog. I had fun editing it!